I am Violet.

I was named Violet. Violet. I have thought about changing my name, but I rather like it. Unlike a rose, a violet is a flower with only a single layer of petals. The petals are of a deep purple color. Deep purple, as I understand, is a color of mystery and spirituality. Maybe that is why Violet, for me, is fitting. 

As a child, I was always alone. That part of me has not changed. I am always alone. What has changed, I have realized, is the progression of the separation that I feel between my body and my soul. I think what I have sensed is my soul residing in another place, while my body, I sensed, lies here. Maybe I am not where I am supposed to be, but someday I know I will be.

I was born in the month of February in Los Angeles, CA. I have an amethyst stone that I began wearing on a necklace over twenty years ago. I remember when I bought the stone. I had walked to a shop a few blocks away from where I lived. I saw a small, purple rock placed inside of a jar. It was the only one in the jar. When I took the stone home, I tied a string around it and attached it to a silver necklace. I am in my forties now and I still wear the same stone around my neck. When I find myself with my hand pressed against the stone, I am reminded that the uncertainties in my experiences are only for a moment, or a few moments in time. I then begin to experience the gentle removal of those uncertainties from my soul. The soul marks the beginning of all things. As a child, I experienced a lot of beginnings, but those beginnings didn’t have any noticeable endings.

I have always believed in spirituality as a connection that begins within oneself and ties to the external world - the universe. I think some people are just born with that immaterial sense. 

I have also wondered if loneliness is the greatest cause of self-exposure.